Where the lonely ones roam
by Byukio
Summary: Pearl realizes that maybe Peridot isn't as bad as she seems because seeing her like this, maybe she isn't as bad as they all once thought. Cover image by aibipanda(her tumblr)!


**A/N: Peridot/Pearl comfort fic and what not because I ship this and what not and this is canon divergent because of the episode with "joy ride" so y'know kind of AU where they capture Peridot and she joins them and B) yeah. also Rose/Pearl mentions as well ! also in which Peridot plays "pokemon" and I make shitty puns.**

* * *

Peridot doesn't like Earth or she says she doesn't, there are a lot of interesting things here but Peridot doesn't care about that too much.

She isn't sure what to do here, in a way she's kind of a "free loader" since she isn't doing anything.

"You know if you're bored you could come with us on missions or... hang out around beach city," Steven suggested.

Peridot had no interest in that, she was offered to cooperate with the gems, she refused, and there isn't much she's been doing but sitting around and observing.

Peridot has seen Amethyst snacking on primitive Earth foods, she doesn't get why—they don't need to eat after all.

Amethyst says she loves eating though but Peridot doesn't see the appeal.

"No," Peridot responded.

"Aw come on! It's way better than moping around here."

_Moping?_

She was not moping; it was more so her holding onto her pride, she still refused to believe the gems, on the ship, had captured her.

Even more so, she refused to believe she had been found and brought here.

"Oh leave her alone Steven, if she wants to mope let her mope," Amethyst said and added, "it's not like she'd been any use to anyone if she's still moping about being caught."

"I am not moping! I am not any degree of upset about that!"

Peridot defended because—oh they wouldn't have caught her at all if not for her being "weakened" as she put it.

"Jeez, relax, Peridot," Amethyst said because they could've done worse to the green gem, they could've destroyed her or kept her under lock and key—but Steven said it wouldn't solve anything, and that maybe she can change if they give her a chance.

After all, people can change, right?

Pearl was still weary of letting the green gem stay with them, what if Peridot made more of those robonoids to attack them or... worse, after all, she had been working for Yellow Diamond.

"So, uh, Jasper and Lapis are still in the sea," Steven said and ah, right Peridot had almost forgotten about that.

"So? What happened to wanting to report stuff to Yellow Diamond, is that your leader or?"

Peridot couldn't help but think that Steven asks a lot of questions.

"Yes, and no, communication is down, I can't get a proper signal, not like I'd be able to contact Yellow Diamond anyway," Peridot said which was true because she wouldn't be able to contact Yellow Diamond anyway with the gems monitoring her.

Peridot did have a chance to better herself now, but she wasn't sure she wanted too—she could betray them so easily.

Though, Garnet would probably notice before she could—they know she's not trust worthy, Peridot doesn't blame them at all.

"Well, uh, I'm gonna go then, maybe next time, Peridot?" Steven suggests and Peridot is sure she'll say no, next time too so she wavers her hand, showing him to leave.

"What do you even do when we're gone?" Amethyst asked and Peridot, surprisingly, did not try and mess with their things.

"Look around, sometimes travel to the beach," Peridot shrugged, she liked observing the things here on Earth for the most part, the wild life was interesting too, the humans and their daily lives, maybe that's why Rose Quartz loved this weird place so much.

"Why? Miss your friend, Jasper?" Amethyst asked and Peridot reacted with disgust.

"Hardly! Jasper never listened to me, and dismissed my orders, and did what she saw fit," Peridot scoffed, she detested it, especially because it was her ship.

She hated not having her plans considered.

"Well, now you're here," Amethyst said trying to be in a way reassuring, it really wasn't that bad, that was true.

"Hey! If you're bored you could watch TV or uh, I know Steven's got games around here," Amethyst suggested.

"Video games?" Peridot asked and Amethyst nodded, "yeah, you might like them considering you're into tech and stuff." They were.. nice to her despite all the stuff she did?

Peridot could just as well try them after all what was the harm?

She was bored.

"Where is this gaming device located?" Peridot asked.

"Ooh, so you do want to play?" Peridot grumbled, "Yes! Just show me the device." Amethyst grinned to herself.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Amethyst said as she went off to rummage through Steven's room to find said gaming device.

"What is that?" Peridot questioned the weird device that Amethyst was holding; it was square and had many buttons on it.

"A gameboy," Amethyst said.

"Have fun."

Peridot stared at the gameboy, well, she could give this a try, and it was better than not doing anything at all.

Peridot refused to believe she would have fun playing any of these video games though.

Peridot turned on the gaming device; it already had a game inside of it as it started up.

"Pokemon… Crystal..?"

The crystal gems.. had a game named after them?

Some professor was talking away about "pokemon" and how Peridot was going to get one.

Peridot wondered if they fought to the death or something like armies do.

That intrigued Peridot.

* * *

Hours have passed, not that Peridot has noticed since she's been far too distracted playing on the gameboy.

Apparently it's dark out because Pearl taps Peridot's shoulder and it startles the green gem.

She takes her eyes off the gaming device, squinting as she adjusts to the darkness around her.

"I would not recommend sleeping on the floor," Pearl said.

Peridot blinked, it took a bit to adjust to the dark.

The green gem was use to this though; she always staring at computer screens and other lit up devices.

"I wasn't aware it had changed to nightfall," Peridot said simply.

Though of course gems did not need to sleep but it was a good way to kill time or just generally "recharge" for say.

Pearl glanced at the object in Peridot's .. hands..?

"I made modifications to Steven's gaming device for myself," Peridot added as she noticed Pearl had been staring and likely wondering how she was able to play it in the first place.

"Where did you get that?"

Peridot was almost insulted at the gestured idea that she had stolen it.

"Amethyst gave it to me saying I should do something with my time, as I'm not going on missions with you all," Peridot said and it wasn't like she wanted to anyway—they were.. bad?

They were trying to interfere with homeworld after all, and protect this miserable planet.

"You don't trust me still," Peridot said and Pearl didn't say a word.

"I can tell, so, are you locking me up for the night then—like usual?" and well—she wasn't causing any harm.

"You don't really.. have a room of your own, you can sleep in the living room."

Pearl hesitated at first though Peridot seemed relieved.

"Are you going to sleep too?" Peridot asked.

"Well, uhm, no," Pearl said and Peridot asked why, especially considering she suggested it.

"Cause she likes to watch Steven sleep!" Amethyst announced from a corner of the room.

"Amethyst! Well, not always, ugh, goodnight!" Pearl left with a huff, Amethyst shrugged and snickered to herself.

Peridot wonders how much of a threat they really are whenever they talk like this with each other and so the green gem wonders if they could see her that way too—as less of a threat.

Though Peridot can say she knows what it's like to feel trapped—just like Lapis has, to feel like a prisoner.

The crystal gems were being more.. lenient, perhaps it was do to Steven.

Peridot didn't quite understand.. she tried to destroy them and yet, Steven saw some good in her.

Peridot put the hand held game away and saved her file; she then traveled over to the couch and flopped down, staring at the ceiling.

Peridot silently wondered to herself—how did sleep work again?

Considering they didn't need it or use it often.

The green gem then pulled up a screen with her detached fingers and looked for an answer.

"Find a comfortable, dark place to sleep and rest your head."

That's what the instructions had said.

This couch seemed comfortable; it was dark, check, check and check.

The matters of sleeping seemed rather easy.

All she had to do now was close her eyes and sleep, think of something peaceful and clear thoughts away.

That would be a problem considering Peridot was worried about many things—mostly about homeworld, Yellow Diamond and so on and about Lapis and Jasper or who the two now were "Malachite" and Peridot worried that the crystal gems would kill her as well.

Peridot told herself it would be okay—it'd all work out—she was smart, so it'd be okay

Peridot then fell asleep, letting her worries and the things she was dreading slip away from her.

* * *

"Peridot, you have failed your mission, failed to return with the gems already on Earth, and you allowed your ship to crash, and Lapis Lazuli and Jasper though they were with you, are now fused as this Malachite at the bottom of the sea as you've reported, your mission was a failure."

All this was being told to Peridot by Yellow Diamond, the green gem worrying for her life—what would they do to her?

"As a result, you are no longer useful," Yellow Diamond spoke.

Peridot's immediate thought was "no, no! Give me another chance!" as well as outright begging for her life-it was no use though, Yellow Diamond took out a tool, it looked a lot like a gem destabilizer.

Peridot specifically remembered her "kill switch"—they were going to kill her.

Yellow Diamond said not a word as they stabbed the tool into Peridot's gem, shattering her completely as she fell into pieces—breaking her completely—impossible for regeneration.

The green gem jolted awake—shaking slightly.

Peridot looked around the room, she was still on Earth, still in the crystal gem's temple—it was a nightmare..?

All just a delusion, yet the pain that jolted her awake had felt so very real.

Peridot touched her gem—still in tact, good she thought to herself.

She couldn't help but still feel terrified—what if that happened..?

What if she's destroyed completely—she doesn't want to _die._

The very thought makes her feel sick inside—her body still shaking, she nervously puts her hands on her face, and she.. cries?

Pathetic, pathetic she thinks to herself, how dare she be afraid of dying, how dare she be afraid of being punished for her failures but she is—and she's alone.

The crystal gems wouldn't understand her fears; they wanted to destroy her too.

Peridot paced around the room, sleep was not as peaceful as it was made out to be.

The green gem hadn't even heard footsteps, someone tapped her on the shoulder—completely catching her off guard, a low shriek of "don't touch me!" and then a redrawn hand and a voice of "oh, Peridot?" and it's Pearl—why couldn't it have been anyone but Pearl.

"Peridot you—" Pearl goes to asks and it's not something Peridot wants to admit to because yes, yes… she was crying and she's sure Pearl can see it and it's awful.

"Peridot—" Pearl asks and the crystal gems voice is soft and not hostile as if she's talking to a wounded animal, Peridot laughs, how pathetic she feels right now.

She noticed Peridot was shaking, she gives her space, tells her to breathe to calm down.

"You must think this is so hilarious," Peridot chokes out.

God even when she tries to talk she feels pathetic because it comes out in an awful hurt voice, how could she let a nightmare effect her so much—how could she fear dying.

Pathetic!

_Pathetic!_

"I do not, though we all did not necessarily get along at first, I am not mocking you when you're clearly distressed by something," Pearl added and well she's not wrong—she is.

The green gem sighs, "Why do you care? We're not necessarily close friends or anything."

Pearl ponders for a moment.

"Steven cares about you enough to see some good in you, so, you could say I care because I trust that there is?" Pearl added and it's silly to think that but really how much harm can the green gem do to them right now?

Especially when she sees Peridot like this.

"You'll think it's pathetic, it's not something I should fear," Peridot said.

Pearl of course doesn't judge, there is many things to fear and just like anyone else, Peridot is afraid of something too—enough to send her into a shaking, crying, fit.

Maybe _fear_?

Maybe _anxiety_?

Pearl doesn't know but she doesn't really question it.

"It's okay, I'm not judging you, you can talk to me," Pearl said.

She adds in "if you want too."

Peridot doesn't know whether or not she should but she has no one else to talk to.

"I'm afraid because I don't want to die, I don't want to die because of my failure, I don't want to no longer cease to exist—" Peridot has to pause to catch her breath because it's hard to breathe and she feels awful for stating all of this—how could a nightmare effect her this badly?

"Dying? As in your gem becoming cracked and no longer being able to regenerate—" Pearl goes to question and Peridot shrieks, "Yes! I don't want that to happen to me!"

"I don't want to die because I failed Yellow Diamond and because I failed home world, I don't want that," Peridot chokes out.

"Peridot—"

Pearl doesn't know what to say, it's a legitimate fear, the home world gems were capable of many things—they could likely pull a "kill switch" on Peridot if they wanted too.

After all her and Jasper were scouting gems basically.

"Peridot, it was just a nightmare, it didn't really happen, you're okay," Pearl said as she tried to reassure the latter.

"No, it's still going to happen, I'm going to be killed and—"

Pearl's certain that Peridot is sending herself into a panic from all the assumptions she is making from such a dream.

"You're okay, you're safe," Pearl said and she thinks people like to be hugged during times of distress—she offers Peridot such a thing and the green gem cautiously obliges.

The two gems hugging, Pearl reassuring the green gem that she wasn't going to die, that she was going to be okay, that it was nothing but a nightmare—that it wasn't a reality.

Granted Pearl has no idea if Yellow Diamond would actually do that—but the least Pearl can do is help Peridot calm down, this was one reason Pearl disliked sleeping, nightmares.

Nightmares that constantly filled her mind about Rose, images of Rose even that haunted her, reminding her that she was gone.

She hated sleeping because that's when images decided to surface in her mind, telling her, reminding her that whenever she awoke, Rose wasn't actually there like in her dreams.

Reminding her that she was gone, dreaming was nothing but a cruel taunt to Pearl.

Peridot eventually calmed down.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Peridot asked.

Pearl wasn't sure how to answer this.

"I don't like to sleep for the same very reason that had you so shaken up," Pearl said.

So nightmares effect everyone then?

Everyone was afraid of something—everyone missed something.

"I do not want to ask this of you but—" Peridot isn't sure if it's okay to ask.

She's afraid and she's alone and she wants someone to stay beside her.

"Would you… sleep beside me? I think humans do that so they can feel safe again after having nightmares?" Peridot asked not exactly sure if that was true.

There was a light blush on Pearl's face.

"I suppose," Pearl said.

Pearl didn't think sleeping on the couch would be very comfortable.

"Thank you.." Peridot reluctantly mumbled.

Though, Pearl didn't mind too much, allowing Peridot to find some temporary comfort in her—that was fine, right?

Pearl wrapped herself around the green gem as if she was being a protective blanket for the latter as they both tried to sleep.

Perhaps sleeping wasn't so bad with someone beside you; someone to comfort you if you have a nightmare and maybe Peridot wasn't so bad either.


End file.
